Return-Path: Delivered-To: alvarochf@traceseis.com Received: from cs510.bluehost.com by cs510.bluehost.com with LMTP id 4HIoL/zZ62l/BgkAWiBQxw (envelope-from ) for ; Fri, 24 Apr 2026 15:00:44 -0600 Return-path: Envelope-to: alvarochf@traceseis.com Delivery-date: Fri, 24 Apr 2026 15:00:44 -0600 Received: from mta-15-224-42.wix-shared.com.sparkpostmail.com ([199.15.224.42]:8569) by cs510.bluehost.com with esmtps (TLS1.2) tls TLS_ECDHE_RSA_WITH_AES_128_GCM_SHA256 (Exim 4.98.2) (envelope-from ) id 1wGNdk-00000002U7t-0zQJ for alvarochf@traceseis.com; Fri, 24 Apr 2026 15:00:44 -0600 X-MSFBL: r6QBcMdCAn1h82VhOXIksMB9kZ5UcVEoDXOMAWzyCbE=|eyJjdXN0b21lcl9pZCI 6IjE3NzUxIiwibWVzc2FnZV9pZCI6IjY5ZWFmMGQ5ZWI2OTcwZjk3MzhiIiwidGV uYW50X2lkIjoic3BjIiwic3ViYWNjb3VudF9pZCI6IjE1OTczMDIiLCJyIjoiYWx 2YXJvY2hmQHRyYWNlc2Vpcy5jb20ifQ== DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=slowdownsummit.co; s=sel1; t=1777064432; i=@slowdownsummit.co; bh=mlPy4tTswkNIGvSLgFAFiwaeppLvNzUth5nnk7OTUD0=; h=To:Message-ID:Date:Content-Type:List-Unsubscribe-Post:Subject: List-Unsubscribe:From:From:To:Cc:Subject; b=zEofBbiTOdX0TNBvuvQFKGMxUbArDhVWtlhmrcArgZZWAzXcuSygBaY2WxK/nxV9q 7y0RQueVbNkrpU1WY6+lnOI1B+dQwKahgaYosRa0g8yWAjEUJCVI5/OdgDkuwy6Jpg BUx1XMq8XBm+gZqAK1Y7IvmeP7MhJpta/ZX6O1NQ= Received: from [10.90.36.4] ([10.90.36.4]) by i-0300b2a1fe2084c47.mta1vrest.sd.prd.sparkpost (ecelerity 5.2.0.75597 r(msys-ecelerity:tags/5.2.0.19)) with REST id B8/3F-39859-0F9DBE96; Fri, 24 Apr 2026 21:00:32 +0000 To: "alvaro chaveste" Message-ID: Date: Fri, 24 Apr 2026 21:00:32 +0000 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_----MmUyr7QGfpey19gC0/AdGQ===_28/3F-39859-0F9DBE96" MIME-Version: 1.0 Reply-To: howdy@slowdownsummit.co List-Unsubscribe-Post: List-Unsubscribe=One-Click Subject: Dear Danielle Vol. 11: Seeking Guidance From A Friend List-Unsubscribe: From: "The Slowdown Summit" x-abuse-id: bc735539-6f9e-4196-9dc6-e5b61ac8b051 Precedence: Bulk Feedback-ID: bc735539-6f9e-4196-9dc6-e5b61ac8b051:15619e7f-6316-4301-b8a0-990d04a7f7f7:wixshoutout X-Spam-Status: No, score=-0.6 X-Spam-Score: -5 X-Spam-Bar: / X-Spam-Flag: NO --_----MmUyr7QGfpey19gC0/AdGQ===_28/3F-39859-0F9DBE96 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8" USE CODE SLOWDOWN15 FOR 15% OFF YOUR TICKET!=0D=0A=0D=0AVOLUME 11: SEEKING = GUIDANCE FROM A FRIEND=0D=0A=0D=0AA subscriber writes: Dear Danielle, I fee= l like I don=E2=80=99t know the right time to chime in when having a conver= sation with someone at work. I talk over them, mumble my words, and feel li= ke I am not having a great two-way conversation. This has happened my entir= e life, but especially around colleagues or people I=E2=80=99m not comforta= ble around yet. I try to give good eye contact and wait for the proper time= to enter the conversation but then I=E2=80=99m not fully listening. I want= to see this in a new way so I can feel more balanced in my work and relati= onships. Any advice=3F -- Seeking Guidance from a Friend=0D=0A=0D=0ADaniell= e Writes: Dear Seeking Guidance from a Friend, It sounds like self-expressi= on has been a recurring theme for you for a long time. I can empathize with= that very much. Conversation can be tricky to be sure. Especially at work!= As you navigate this I want to invite you into a gentle re-frame: rather t= han viewing this situation as a personal stumbling block, what if we consid= er it an intelligent self protection strategy=3F Our ability to use our voi= ce is directly connected to how safe (comfortable) we feel in our bodies. I= f you don=E2=80=99t feel comfortable, you will have a hard time speaking up= - or sometimes overcompensate. In contrast, does it feel different to be in= conversation with someone you love=3F If so, how=3F If you consider conver= sations with others to be subtly threatening or scary (ex: what if they rej= ect me=3F) then that will influence the kinds of conversations you have. If= you believe that people are generally accepting and want to hear what you = have to say, that will also influence the kinds of conversations you have. = Do you sense any kind of subconscious beliefs at play for you=3F There is o= ne skill that sets apart a genuinely skilled conversationalist from the pac= k- it=E2=80=99s attunement. Paying attention on purpose, with genuine curio= sity, with presence, with openness. They make others feel important, like t= hey matter. We cannot manufacture this=E2=80=A6 people can feel our intenti= ons and sincerity - or lack thereof. A sincere intention can go a long way = in offsetting an =E2=80=9Cimperfect=E2=80=9D delivery. Also, remember that = conversation is a collaborative experience that improves with practice. It= =E2=80=99s entirely possible that you exist in a professional environment w= here attunement isn=E2=80=99t offered to YOU. It takes two to tango, my fri= end. Having said that, we simply do not have capacity to offer much attunem= ent when our body enters fight or flight. This is not a personal failure, i= t's an intelligent design! Our only goal during a threat is to re-establish= safety. Connection takes a back seat and protection becomes our #1 priorit= y. Makes sense, right=3F When we lack the capacity for attunement, we somet= imes slip into a performance of what connection should look like. We try to= say the =E2=80=9Cright=E2=80=9D things, use just the =E2=80=9Cright=E2=80= =9D amount of eye contact, keep our body language warm, open... and we mirr= or our companions. Except, instead of it feeling natural and reciprocal, it= =E2=80=99s motivated by fear instead of love. In the Nervous System world w= e could call this Fawning. If we can make other people feel comfortable and= satisfied then our bodies will relax. Our felt sense of safety is conditio= nal upon the comfort of those in our immediate surroundings. Or we could ca= ll it Freeze- when our body decides the best response is to zip it. Feeling= =E2=80=9Cunsafe=E2=80=9D in our bodies can be as simple as being hungry, u= nder-slept, too hot or cold, or just worried about what someone else thinks= of us. Easy steps to address this could look like: regular meal and snack = times, honoring your physical needs with routine, and planning your convers= ations for times when you feel nourished & comfortable. If you want to go a= little deeper =E2=80=93 have you taken time recently to reflect on your va= lues=3F Your definition of success in the workplace=3F Do you even value ha= ving smooth conversations with others right now=3F Or can you accomplish yo= ur work exquisitely without forcing this skill=3F If this skill is essentia= l for your success at work, then consider ways to take the pressure off. Im= agine what these talks could look and feel like if they were light and easy= and a little fun. So what if this isn=E2=80=99t a skill issue=3F What if y= ou aren=E2=80=99t doing anything =E2=80=9Cwrong=E2=80=9D in the first place= =3F What if we asked, =E2=80=9CWhat do I need to feel safe right now,=E2=80= =9D instead of =E2=80=9CWhat can I change about myself to fit the mold=3F= =E2=80=9D Advice: shift your focus away from your technique and toward your= intention. For example, if your intention is to have more balanced convers= ations, and you mumble when you practice =E2=80=93 you=E2=80=99re still ali= gning with your intention. =E2=80=94 Danielle=0D=0A=0D=0AWe look forward to= your future submissions to Dear Danielle, and can't wait to see you at the= Slowdown Summit on April 27. Get your ticket today! Rest up. Slow down. Le= ad differently. =F0=9F=8C=B1=0A=0AClick on the link below to open the messa= ge in a browser:=0Ahttps://slowdownsummit.co/so/f7PszE-KH/c=3Fw=3Da1xNhLF_r= 7P9rCin7EzulGSX6ksZUpUB6Q2jybsIyTs.eyJ1IjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9zbG93ZG93bnN1bW1pdC5j= by9zby9mN1BzekUtS0g_bGFuZ3VhZ2VUYWc9ZW4iLCJtIjoibWFpbCIsImMiOiJiYzM0Yjk3MC1= lZTdlLTQ1NjYtODQ0OC1jNjRlNjBlYWQ0OTQifQ=0A=0AYou've received this email bec= ause you are a subscriber of this site.=0Ahttps://slowdownsummit.co/so/f7Ps= zE-KH/c=3Fw=3DqveXN7qUCWBcngPdS5YyaGi9Cciz37efTTaCZF92mxs.eyJ1IjoiaHR0cHM6L= y93d3cuc2xvd2Rvd25zdW1taXQuY28vIiwibSI6Im1haWwiLCJjIjoiYmMzNGI5NzAtZWU3ZS00= NTY2LTg0NDgtYzY0ZTYwZWFkNDk0In0=0A=0AIf you feel you received it by mistake= or wish to unsubscribe, please click here.=0Ahttps://www.slowdownsummit.co= //_manage-consent/api/revoke-consent/unsubscribe=3FwixToken=3DJWE.eyJhbGciO= iJBMTI4S1ciLCJlbmMiOiJBMTI4Q0JDLUhTMjU2Iiwia2lkIjoiZkhJbFA4M1cifQ.c_Kwj1B4e= ZamsVGFWnPHWIOcenwRl4S-hWRAhsafWr6GF5ek54jD2g.YCyF0BqbkOjmOeHoeZAbLA.I4xJw4= RZXdIacWZV_jyphIenL4Veqa-fPMrNZGJmAOyKsV3euM99_kE8HoL_l5ZGMaH_htqYxB528_wJE= OZ3rTswEw0QeEB0zXWpxKt42E2cU_stJuujt6ahkHI9NypyNyRG6-Y8F0zC5oZGRZ6m7emRKIrO= dfBT6Q9genU9G9SF0RzLk4dUWmJ8bPixLJi4pQsFDVlFmP1HIlNE88H098q4Mn9ZyVJbTUTGU9B= YxpDjmG-RF_NFeb5KwXg_67r9t08XSgh1Bei_i8IoSgI7_2Z1JsOKVjW7hM6Bxgbp67AFNwrvK5= gNLEt-5OMJFdjxO4Ie1442msZrCs_I0oYyp6vExqJ-It4XRHpXfCwEW9BOP-j5thlidkgdV5Rkw= EdHHNzEBOs5Tt5DsTARoxFsa5Fni9ZZZR9By6x9UAd6YubQpYpXzzDRE2my9vjNTh5T.p-1jl2j= PzALVfARvvlzuQA&locale=3Den --_----MmUyr7QGfpey19gC0/AdGQ===_28/3F-39859-0F9DBE96 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Type: text/html; charset="UTF-8" =0D=0A
3D""/=0D=0A
Helping i= lluminate patterns, build self-trust, and strengthen the inner foundation r= equired to show up as a leader.‌ ‌ ‌&= nbsp;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&nbs= p;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ &= zwnj; ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ &zwn= j; ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&= nbsp;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&nbs= p;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ &= zwnj; ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ &zwn= j; ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&= nbsp;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&nbs= p;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ &= zwnj; ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ &zwn= j; ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&= nbsp;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&nbs= p;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ &= zwnj; ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ &zwn= j; ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&= nbsp;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&nbs= p;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ &= zwnj; ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ &zwn= j; ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&= nbsp;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&nbs= p;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ &= zwnj; ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ &zwn= j; ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&= nbsp;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&nbs= p;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ &= zwnj; ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ &zwn= j; ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&= nbsp;‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌&nbs= p;‌ 
<= !--[if mso | IE]>
Can&#= x27;t see this message=3F View in browser
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=

USE CODE SLOWDOWN15 FOR 15% OFF YOUR TICKET= !

=
<= /div>
GET YOUR TICKET3D""
3D"Introducing=
=

VOLUME 11: SEEKING GUIDANCE FROM A FRIEND

=

A subscriber writes:

 

Dear Danielle,

&= nbsp;

I feel like I don=E2=80= =99t know the right time to chime in when having a conversation with someon= e at work. I talk over them, mumble my words, and feel like I am not having= a great two-way conversation. This has happened my entire life, but especi= ally around colleagues or people I=E2=80=99m not comfortable around yet. I = try to give good eye contact and wait for the proper time to enter the conv= ersation but then I=E2=80=99m not fully listening. I want to see this in a = new way so I can feel more balanced in my work and relationships. Any advic= e=3F

 

-- Seeking Guidance from a Friend

<= ![endif]-->
=

Danielle Writes:

Dear Seeking Guidance from a Friend= ,

It sounds like self-expression has been a recurrin= g theme for you for a long time. I can empathize with that very much. Conve= rsation can be tricky to be sure. Especially at work! As you navigate this = I want to invite you into a gentle re-frame: rather than viewing this situa= tion as a personal stumbling block, what if we consider it an intelligent s= elf protection strategy=3F

Our ability to use our voice is directl= y connected to how safe (comfortable) we feel in our bodies. If you don=E2= =80=99t feel comfortable, you will have a hard time speaking up- or sometim= es overcompensate. In contrast, does it feel different to be in conversatio= n with someone you love=3F If so, how=3F

If you consider conversat= ions with others to be subtly threatening or scary (ex: what if they reject= me=3F) then that will influence the kinds of conversations you have. If yo= u believe that people are generally accepting and want to hear what you hav= e to say, that will also influence the kinds of conversations you have. Do = you sense any kind of subconscious beliefs at play for you=3F
&nb= sp;

There is one skill that sets apart a genuinely skilled conver= sationalist from the pack- it=E2=80=99s attunement. Paying attention on pur= pose, with genuine curiosity, with presence, with openness. They make other= s feel important, like they matter. We cannot manufacture this=E2=80=A6 peo= ple can feel our intentions and sincerity - or lack thereof. A sincere inte= ntion can go a long way in offsetting an =E2=80=9Cimperfect=E2=80=9D delive= ry.

Also, remember that conversation is a collaborative experience= that improves with practice. It=E2=80=99s entirely possible that you exist= in a professional environment where attunement isn=E2=80=99t offered to YO= U. It takes two to tango, my friend.

Having said that, we simply d= o not have capacity to offer much attunement when our body enters fight or = flight. This is not a personal failure, it's an intelligent design! Our onl= y goal during a threat is to re-establish safety. Connection takes a back s= eat and protection becomes our #1 priority. Makes sense, right=3F
= When we lack the capacity for attunement, we sometimes slip into a performa= nce of what connection should look like. We try to say the =E2=80=9Cright= =E2=80=9D things, use just the =E2=80=9Cright=E2=80=9D amount of eye contac= t, keep our body language warm, open... and we mirror our companions. Excep= t, instead of it feeling natural and reciprocal, it=E2=80=99s motivated by = fear instead of love.

In the Nervous System world we could call th= is Fawning. If we can make other people feel comfortable and satisfied then= our bodies will relax. Our felt sense of safety is conditional upon the co= mfort of those in our immediate surroundings. Or we could call it Freeze- w= hen our body decides the best response is to zip it.

=  

Feeling =E2=80=9Cunsafe=E2=80=9D in our bodies can be as s= imple as being hungry, under-slept, too hot or cold, or just worried about = what someone else thinks of us. Easy steps to address this could look like:= regular meal and snack times, honoring your physical needs with routine, a= nd planning your conversations for times when you feel nourished & comf= ortable.

If you want to go a little deeper =E2=80=93 have you take= n time recently to reflect on your values=3F Your definition of success in = the workplace=3F Do you even value having smooth conversations with others = right now=3F Or can you accomplish your work exquisitely without forcing th= is skill=3F If this skill is essential for your success at work, then consi= der ways to take the pressure off. Imagine what these talks could look and = feel like if they were light and easy and a little fun.
 

So what if this isn=E2=80=99t a skill issue=3F What if you aren=E2= =80=99t doing anything =E2=80=9Cwrong=E2=80=9D in the first place=3F What i= f we asked, =E2=80=9CWhat do I need to feel safe right now,=E2=80=9D instea= d of =E2=80=9CWhat can I change about myself to fit the mold=3F=E2=80=9D


Advice: shift your focus away from your technique and to= ward your intention. For example, if your intention is to have more balance= d conversations, and you mumble when you practice =E2=80=93 you=E2=80=99re = still aligning with your intention.

 

=E2=80=94 Danielle

<= /tbody>

We look forward to your future submiss= ions to Dear Danielle, and can't wait to see you at the Slowdown Summit on = April 27. Get your ticket today!

 

Rest up. Slow down. Lead differentl= y. =F0=9F=8C=B1

<= /tr>
<= table align=3D"center" border=3D"0" cellpadding=3D"0" cellspacing=3D"0" rol= e=3D"presentation" style=3D"background:#FFFFFF;background-color:#FFFFFF;wid= th:100%">
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